It felt so peaceful. I didn’t know why it felt like that. Like sleeping over a halcyon lake under the moon lit night. I was extricated from all my worries, from all my doubts, from all my insecurities. Because, I had nothing left to lose. Whatever, whoever I loved was taken away from me finally. I was not afraid of God anymore. I was my own God. My thoughts were not clouded anymore. It seemed to me as if someone is trying to manipulate me. Me! As if he is trying to tell me to wait. Wait for what? More pain? Nah, I will pass. An involuntary smile appeared across my lips. My breathing had never been this placatory. My heart beats were finally behaving like a calm symphony rather than a feral’s howl. And as I smiled, I smiled fearlessly. This peace of mind! I couldn’t get in my lifetime. I wanted to live in that moment forever. Wanted this to never end. Then, I opened my eyes.
And I said,
“You can’t trick me anymore.”
And slid the knife across my wrist.
Note from the author: This is my last post on WordPress. You all have been so wonderful and helpful. Thank you.
Wow. That’s a beautiful and brutal goodbye. I have also thought many times to say goodbye to WordPress but somehow I keep coming back maybe because its good to write and share the feelings at times.
Maybe you can consider it too.
It’s not only about ending WordPress. But life. Thank you for your kind words. That would be my last comment.
Wait..what??? What does this mean? I know we don’t know each other. But we can talk. Sometimes talking to strangers is the best solution.
Come on..you can’t make that your last comment.
I don’t know what to say.. i just hope you are okay. Talk to someone. It will help. It will be all okay. Just don’t lose hope.